the tension of opposites

tuesdays with morrie was my first exposure to what i have come to know as spectrums. the tension of opposites that morrie schwartz spoke of has evolved to form some basis of my take on reality. tonight the moon is pink. and it is not just pink. it is pink because of the glow of the sun in africa. everything is in reference to something else. things are defined by opposing entities. specifically, the republicans have dominated our country for long enough. and now it’s time for the tides to turn! (this is not the general point of the tension of opposites, but yet another pragmatic example).

we spend our lives trying to find some balance in the tension of opposites. some place on the spectrum that does not alienate ourselves from who we are. the spectrum widens according to emotional experience. the more happiness we know, the more vulnerable we are to hurt. bliss means the rubber band will contract to create unbearable pain. but, as is so well put in vanilla sky, “without the bitter baby, the sweet ain’t as sweet.” full humanness is taking it all.

the other element of the spectrum is the intrinsic and inescapable involvement of others. why does so much of emotional encounters seem to do with other people? that close relationships that bring the most joy also impel the greatest anguish? that letting people “in” allows for the widening of emotive experiences. only relationships that bring immense joy have the capacity to slam us with unbearable pain. and if and when these loves disappear, we shrink back to the midpoint on the spectrum with feelings of emptiness, lacking the luster of the other, though it’s been you all along. we stray from ourselves only to return, renewed, revived.

additionally, converses are drawn to balance us. being a spectacularly unique individual versus being painfully ordinary. i am worth something versus being weakly and vulnerably human and depending on others. i am nothing. i am everything.

if life is a series of pulls back and forth, then it must be about recognizing where you are honestly without judgment. i depend on others (without guilt). i am afraid of change (without remorse). i am myself and nothing else. only mired in honesty can we think about evolving.